Believe in Beginnings

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Obsessed with Fear

Jana Myers1 Comment
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Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.
— Steve Jobs
Courage doesn’t happen when you have all the answers. It happens when you are ready to face the questions you have been avoiding your whole life.
One day, your heart will stop beating, and none of your fears will matter. What will matter is how you lived.

Beats to Listen to While you Read

As human beings, we are obsessed with fear. I mean, OBSESSED. A fear of...

  • Not being accepted by society
  • Stepping outside of our comfort zones
  • Failure
  • Success (Ironic, right?)
  • Being our true selves
  • Letting go
  • Being alone

The list goes on and on and on. Aside from death, one thing we all share as humans is fear. Although some of us prefer not to admit it out loud, at the end of the day, we all fear something.

When I first started blogging, I was very fearful. Not only am I putting my inner thoughts and fears out into the world, but I felt nervous that readers wouldn't appreciate my thoughts or, even worse, actually know who I really am and how I feel about the world. 

After plenty of overanalyzing as I am known to do from time to time, I have to come to understand one of my biggest fears: not knowing who I really am.

Waking up one day and coming to the realization you don't know who you really are can feel (for lack of a better phrase) fucking terrifying. You may experience some of the following emotions...lost, confused, sad, angry, impatient, perplexed. 

Do we ever really know who we are? Or, rather, do we never fully accept it? 

I believe many people spend their existence suppressing who they truly are based on the very simple yet complex explanation: fear. The root of this fear comes from mistrust; belief that the world won't approve of you if you don't conform to society or others opinions and beliefs. However, in order to build trust and confidence, you must allow yourself to be you and all of you. Being you is the key to success and happiness. 

And when I say "who you really are", I am not referring to what flavor of ice cream you enjoy, but who you really are - your core values, your principles, how you view the world, views on various topics in the world, etc.

Figuring out who you are isn't something you decide overnight. It can be a lifelong process for many of us. When we fear something - really fear it - we tend to stay inside our bubble - a safe world we create for ourselves in order to avoid any pain and discomfort. The ironic aspect of this is we are in turn building a wall against the world in a sense. One against possibilities and our own true happiness. We don't experience new situations in life, we don't go on adventures, but rather, stay completely stagnant. It's a dangerous way to live and I think I've fallen victim to this for too long...the "stagnant lifestyle" one may call it.

Although it can be beyond scary, it can also be the most rewarding event to happen in your life. The first step in figuring out who you truly are is admitting you don't know who you are in the first place. It's a beautiful journey to begin <3. 

I feel this urge to throw away the story I have been telling for years and tell the true one.

The first step on the journey is to ask yourself some important questions, such as...

  1. What motivates you in life?
  2. How do you feel about different topics? (politics, marriage, art, books) Start small, but don't lie to yourself
  3. What makes you beyond happy? Think back when you were just a child and what made you smile. That helps.
  4. What do you want your legacy to be? In other words, if somebody were to write a book about you, how would it go? Then live that way.

Next, stop caring what society thinks. No matter what anybody debates, deep down we all care what people think about us. Some of us maybe more than others, but we all care. This particular step is the most difficult, at least for me. Trust me, it's not an easy feat to overcome, but practice makes perfect. The next step is coming to the realization that some people may not stick around in our lives once we reveal our true selves. The third step is understanding those people were not meant to be there in the first place. The fourth is sticking to being yourself, regardless of who or who isn't there. There are many more steps along the way, and I'll let you know when I get there.

One more note: YOU are beautiful. Don't ever forget it! <3

Xo,

Jana