My father passed away on March 21.
It was and will remain one of the hardest days of my life. I don't think many people will fully comprehend the pain unless they have gone through a loss like that themselves. I'm not saying people can't sympathize or be there for you. But once you actually are in it, it's very different.
My Dad was one of the best people I and many people knew. He changed lives for the better and lived that mission every day of his life – I think something most people strive for in this world - to make a difference. He was my father, best friend, hero, mentor, happiness. He changed my life for the better and I feel lucky to have had him as my father for as long as I did. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about him.
Obviously, this is definitely a very personal experience to share. However, I have come to realize, life is all about loss. I know my Dad would be incredibly proud of me to share this with the world; to allow myself to feel what I'm feeling and to let others know it is okay.
I think today in society many people don't fully accept grief. Actual grief and all of the emotions that accompany them.
I never actually imagined the reality of going through a loss like this at this point in my life. I have come to accept not everybody knows what to say or do – life just is. I have realized to live life to the fullest instead of wanting to crawl into a dark hole. I have realized some days it's justified to crawl into a dark hole even if only for a bit. I truly think in order to truly grieve, you must feel everything. The pain, the loss, the good and the bad. For anybody going through a loss out there, I applaud you for allowing yourself to feel the pain, and to still find positivity in the world because there is so much good in the universe if we look hard enough. It's easy to want to give up in many ways; loss like that is unimaginable – the finality of it unbearable most days. But the important lesson is life is all about loss...we have to learn to appreciate the moments we have with the people we love.
So, allow yourself to feel everything so you can live again. Do not die with your loved one. <3
"I had my own notion of grief.
I thought it was a sad time.
That followed the death of someone you love.
And you had to push through it
to get to the other side.
But I'm learning there is no other side.
There is no pushing through.
And grief is not something you complete.
But rather you endure.
Grief is not a task to finish,
and move on,
But an element of yourself –
An alteration of your being.
A new way of seeing.
A new definition of self"
Here's to you Dad, and to making a difference in this beautiful world. <3